I don't do sports. And I don't just mean in a strictly no thanks, I'd prefer not to have merciless balls thrown at me in a manner which makes it impossible to defend myself while I run pointlessly in a tiresome circle listening to my teammates groan about my physical ineptitude sort of way.
I mean in a just watching it on TV makes me shiver with anger thinking about how much dough they rake in to trot around a field and commit acts of infidelity while others get paid squat to teach or save lives sort of way. The least they could do is show a little hustle, but no - trotting is usually the top speed. Unless, of course they're all in a giant man-pile. Which makes perfect sense after two seconds of mobility.
Never mind all the time, money and sheer mind power going into each and every player, team, game, piece of plastic paraphernalia they put on sale! I have a thought that football was developed as a surrogate, an outlet really for the human's base instinct for aggression, carnage - you know, that whole 'hunter' thing. Most men these days can't (and shouldn't) don a loin cloth and break out the old spear for some fulfilling sabertooth smackdown. So they cover their bodies in paint and scream like banshees over something they can't control.*
I don't get it. I'll never get it. So please, please do not try to explain the finer points of a football play. Don't try to tell me that football is sophisticated, like the art of war. Don't even get me started on war. Just wear your little jersey, watch your game with the flashy commercials and eat your damn wings. Or, for those creative-insense burning-photo taking-paint mixing-fluid writing sorts, pour some wine, arrange your wings on a nice plate and serve them up sans cheese puffs and beer.
Sweet and Sour Orange Glazed Wings
- 12 Whole Wings (You can buy them tipped and split so 12 whole wings becomes 24 wingettes and drumettes or you can buy them whole and do it yourself seen here WARNING! grisley pictures of chicken being cut up!)
- 2 cups orange juice
- 2 tbsp brown sugar
- 1 tbsp soy sauce like San-J GF Soy Sauce
- 1 tsp chile flakes or hot sauce
- 1 tbsp white wine vinegar or white balsamic vinegar
Once your wings are tipped and split, steam the wings for 10 minutes. You can do this by filling a large pot with about 1" to 2" of water. Allow this water to come to a rolling boil. Place your wings in a single layer in either a colander or a steaming basket and perch this inside the pot.
While your wings are steaming, select a cooking sheet and an oven-safe cookie cooling rack. Place rack on top of cooking sheet. The rack elevates the wings over the cookie sheet and allows for better convection. Arrange wings on cooling rack. Put your cookie sheet/rack combo with wings into the refrigerator for about 45 minutes to an hour on the bottom shelf. Make sure your wings are not touching any other food and do not cover them.
Meanwhile, preheat your oven to 375 degrees. Slide cookie sheet/rack combo into oven and bake for 45 minutes, turning wings once halfway through.
Sweet and Sour Orange Glaze
Boil orange juice in a sauce pan for about 30 minutes, reducing down to about a half cup. Once boiled down, transfer orange reduction to a skillet or wok. Add in brown sugar, soy sauce, chile flakes or hot sauce and vinegar and allow to simmer on high for about 6-8 minutes. You will know when your sauce is done when it appears as a gel-like sauce and the bubbles seem to climb on top of each other.
When the wings are done baking, put them into a large bowl and toss with glaze to cover as desired.
*Okay, okay, I love hockey. I'll go to a hockey game and yell and scream and egg on the vicious fighters. It's fast, exciting, adrenaline fueled. There's movement for longer than increments of 30 seconds. I'll go to a game but I don't want to watch it on TV, how dull. I also enjoy self-competitive sports like gymnastics, but that's because I had a brief stint with the activity myself and have appreciation for the internal challenge. Sue me!