Monday, January 4, 2010
Say it with me folks, hell-fricken-yeah. If you've had this chocolate, don't be bashful, you know what I'm talking about. But before I go on, let me put your fears to bed. I'm not going to go all lunatic-PMS-choco-fiend-typical-"get-off-your-ass-and-get-me-the-damn-bar-I-need-to-eat-my-feelings" female on you with this chocolate review. This is going to be completely down to earth, plain and simple, I enjoy this Gluten Free chocolate and wish to share it with those of you who are not fortunate enough to have nibbled around its beveled edges. And SO HELP ME, if I don't get another bar on our grocery trip tonight, I'ma bring the hurt down.
Yes, I'm aware it's Resolution Time. That precious time of year when the citizenry make all manner of promises in order to inflict guilt at a later date - whether it be in five minutes or three months. A negative view, you say? You know that age-old snippet: is the glass half empty or half full? The correct answer, the solution to this maddening, circular quiz is, in reality, a question: are you pouring liquid into the glass or drinking it out? Not a pessimist, not an optimist, but a realist. So I say, why wait until a universal holiday to make the needed changes in your life?
It's not so much the idea of waiting until the New Year, I think, that's the problem. It's more that this is a holiday in which this Resolution practice is expected to end in failure. It's a joke, a sham. So why set yourself up with the rest of the world? Live in the moment, work out when you need a self-esteem boost, eat your veggies when you crave them, hug your kids often, tell the people you love that you appreciate them, smile when you see yourself in the mirror and, seriously, enjoy something delicious no matter how many calories it is.
So yes, even though many of you may be jumping on the Resolution train (I wish you success, truthfully and completely!) which probably translates to things like having a machine kick your ass and avoiding the entire center portion of your grocery store, I'd like to make a plea on behalf of chocolate. Not just any chocolate either.
It is my firm, unflinching belief that everyone needs chocolate. But let's be clear, chocolate is not a meal! Chocolate is something you lovingly take out of your cabinet, break off a square and let each nibble melt across your tongue infusing your extremities with warmth and wonder. And then you put the rest back because it will taste just as good tomorrow. Maybe even better. Then you can go eat your roughage, climb 12,000 stairs to nowhere, make some kind of green soup. Let's say it all together: Chocolate Is Not Bad. It's the part where I eat 12 bars in a day that's the problem. Not "I" as in "me", "I" as in..."people out there". Right?
So here's the deal. Gluten hides in all manner of sneaky little nooks, as you know, including chocolate. Soy is rampant in treats under the guise of lecithin. If nuts aren't scattered through each bite then they're rubbing themselves all over the manufacturer's conveyor belt. And dairy! Oh, the dairy. Don't they know that real chocolate should be straight up, none of that cow fraternization?
So if you're tired of choking through 80% cacao bars because you just can't find one a little sweeter with the dairy free guarantee, if you just can't stand shucking out 5 dollars for a gourmet hunk of the good stuff every time you want a little pick me up, if you want to be sure that your munchfest won't be interrupted by a surprise nest of offending allergens, never fear, Enjoy Life Gluten Free, Dairy Free, Soy Free, Nut Free Chocolate is fricken awesome.
Available in (rice) Milk Chocolate, Crispy Rice, and Dark Chocolate, I haven't strayed from this brand since first bite. They're technically called Boom Choco Boom bars but I just shorten it to BOOMBOOM as I yell it down the aisle in the supermarket to alert Alex before I speed off to snatch up a few. The Milk Chocolate most excites me because frankly, I was fed up with dark. As someone who is not only GF but dairy free as well, good chocolate sans dairy in some form is tough to come by. The Rice Milk Chocolate is creamy, aromatic, just the right balance between smooth and rich, sweet and firm. You may also pick up on a wonderfully subtle hint of a salty undercurrent. I finally noticed this after a couple bars and the complexity this flavor adds is very special. Perfectly rounded, this chocolate leaves me content, satisfied and anticipating more of its rich/sweet goodness. Alex has stated that the Crispy Rice version is the closest he's tasted to a Crunch bar. He was very disappointed during our last shopping trip when they only had the Milk Chocolate bars. That didn't stop him from getting one though. And coveting mine. (I saw you eyeing it, don't deny it!)
Enjoy life also makes this chocolate in chip form (yay!) so make way for some sparklin flavonoids!
Gluten Free/Dairy Free Desserts Begging for some Antioxidant Love (aka chocolate chips)
Elana's Pantry - Double Chocolate Mocha Biscotti
Celiac Chicks - Chocolate Mousse
Gluten Free Goddess - Chocolate Quinoa Brownies